Accountability... Respect... Communication...
How do we get there?
NTSB (Non-Traditional Sexual Behaviors) Counseling and Therapy
That shame I mentioned? Sexual inklings that deviate from social norms are a key source of it. When properly acknowledged and explored, though, they become a key to self actualization. This exploration, which I will guide you through, will be conducted openly, cautiously and respectfully, with empathy and warmth as well as knowledge.
The counseling I offer is an amalgamation of methods, from various spheres, which I will custom tailor to you — based not on MY fixed menu of services, but on YOUR evolving needs. Our work together will be a fluid mix of the following components:
We will begin with a series of candid conversations, designed to map your current position and your trajectory. Introspective exercises, which you will do on your own and later share with me, will further inform our talks. We will develop a rapport; I will come to know you, and you will come to trust me. Drawing upon what we learned, you and I will customize a course of action entailing more hands-on possibilities.
Training focuses on learning the proper use of instruments: restraints, tools for sensory stimulation/deprivation, tools for physical/sexual stimulation, etc. The safe and proficient use of these tools is an important facet of many NTSB lifestyles, but the training I speak of hones a more layered skillset. While studying each instrument, we will also be studying the sensations and emotions they provoke, how these experiences interact with you and your playpartner as a whole, how to read your playpartner’s reactions and communicate your own, and how you can use each tool to express your unique desires and wants.
Whether you are a newcomer or a lifestyle vetran, submission — the simple act of putting yourself in the hands of a person you trust — is a powerful, sometimes transcendental, experience. Just for a while, let go of the unceasing responsibility for making decisions and carrying them out. Pass the burden on to me. In the relief that follows, you will find your senses are greatly enhanced. You will feel trust, kinship, affection and gratitude as a child does, free from worry or inhibition. There’s a lucidity to this exchange that harkens to a simpler state of being; it often yields a sense of wonder and renewal. Like I said earlier, It may resemble falling in love. But it’s just you, coming into yourself.
What will we work on?
FORMING DEEPER CONNECTIONS
There’s a void in your life. You may have many connections, but none take root. You are not alone in feeling lonely: the prevalent app-reliant culture of superficial and formulaic exchanges has deprived many of the skills needed to build meaningful, stable relationships. These skills take honesty, practice and above all courage to develop, since they require that you reveal yourself to others. If you have this courage, I will guide you through the process.
REVIVING EXISTING CONNECTIONS
The Achilles heel of any long term relationship is that after enough time, partners begin to relate to their own projections of their counterpart/s, rather than to the actual person before them. As they become invisible to each other, dissatisfaction and resentment settle in. Through discussions, reflection and physical NTSB sessions, you will come to see each other through new eyes, and to love each other in a more authentic way.
BUILDING COMMUNICATION SKILLS AND CONFIDENCE
Often, you are your own worst enemy: you have spent much of your life bent under the oppression of self derision and low self esteem. You will come to see these are just shadows. Once you permit yourself to live your authentic wants and needs, you will begin relating to yourself as a presence, rather than a lack of presence. Empowered, your communication will become earnest, positive — first with yourself, then with others.
One of my clients, a woman diagnosed with cancer, told me that she came to me because “I wanted to feel beautiful before I die.” Her husband was sitting beside her, holding her hand. The moment you face the possibility of life ending — of yours or of someone loved — is one of the utmost significance. I will support you as you mend relationships, fulfill aspirations and take on whatever you want to change. I will hold your hand as you reconcile with what you cannot. I will shoulder the weight of grief with you. I would be honored to.